Chinese
Hire what love fire lights to extinguish funeral husband eventually in the room
From;    Author:Stand originally
Those who can't bear funeral husband is painful I answer change to look for first love male friend to pour out 20 old before, I married, the feeling after marriage is very good, the love of that time is far not blundering now. The man is old I am 10 years old, be in charge of absolutely to the family, it is a good man on traditional sense. Be in especially economically, he is paid only to me, do not pursue what is asked for. Get at that time the edification of the sort of traditional culture, I think that ability is true family, he gave me the life that a woman wants. But, such life stops abruptly in a certain moment. 6 years ago, he is abrupt go to the bad, left me forever after two hours. The blow of this kind of arise suddenly did not give me any thought preparation, in very long period of time, I cannot accept the fact that the husband leaves. What did I experience to make be overwhelmed with sorrow for the first time. I am Chongqing person, but we bring the home in Wuhan. The head after the husband goes two years, I envelop the shadow in funeral husband from beginning to end under, cannot go, the mood is exceeding and bad, psychosis is very poor. By 2004, a friend sees me to Wuhan, she says I go down to be no good so, want me to talk about confabulate with others more. I am in Wuhan friend of it doesn't matter, also do not know how to return a responsibility, the first love lover that hears of me is in Chongqing, the friend does his utmost agitate Hui Yu goes looking for him to chat. I say my connection not to go up he, actually I am not to want to contact, at that time, besides new husband, I am very repellent to other man. But the friend is very enthusiastic, ask about the telephone number of first love male friend to me unexpectedly finally. Male friend of I and first love is neighbor neighbour, his mother likes me very much. When I come forward 20 years old, I and he went when educated youth, and live together. Actually we are in fact husband and wife, besides doing not have that piece of marriage certificate. Accept the limit of that time, feeling is very pure at that time, comfortable to him the husband that does not suit to become me, I had not thought carefully. We divided a hand later, I go to Beijing reading an university, mix from now on his mail message is devoid. The end is old, begin new, I also do not feel to have how many regret, because of every paragraphs of feeling too won't perfect. The head that reads an university in a few years, I am returned can from neighbor over there now and then hear a few newses about him, but also won't think carefully. Later, male friend of I and first love established new family severally. First love male friend must not arrange me too or choice and he is together I do not want to call to him actually, I am afraid that I resemble auspicious forest elder brother's wife, before him persistently complaint talk about again and again, what I do not want to let him see me is abjection, do not want to let him feel I am to be in more abjection when just remember him. But after lying between period of time, I still made a telephone call to him. The phone puts through that is flashy, I cry so that resemble a lachrymal person immediately, resemble finding a dear one general. I did not ask about his marriage, I am not holding this purpose in the arms to call to him. He wants me to go to Chongqing rest and reorganization period of time, he will arrange. My mood is very complex, do not know to go or do not go, if be the joy that lets me witness their home to reunion, I will be sadder. And, there already are 30 years when be apart from our first love, now, to he and their home, I am outsider, what do I go calculating? Even if,went very happy also be brief, in the loneliness that still can carry travelling bag to return his afterwards. Rather such, still be inferior to avoiding this sadness at the beginning. The course is as long as the intense struggle of a many week, I or selection go, the reason is his mother once liked me very much, I said I can visit his mother, his mother is very glad. I cannot bear break my promise to an old lady of many years old 80. But, even if is I hit calm idea to want Chongqing, in set out that day, I also wandered fully in Wuhan street 78 hours. After meeting with him, we talked about a lot of things previously, speak of my man, I cry. He says he is willing to help me, but besides marrying with me, he says he has a happy and perfect family. I say I do not want him to divorce, I just visit his mother presumably. I am right at that time he a bit not fortify, I once had done stream of people twice because of him, I feel he is a person that is worth reliance. My altogether lived in 10 days or so in him, but, after passing several days, he just gives me confide aspirations. He is a question family, the wife does not care him, very cool to him, they divide a bed early and Mian. Did not divorce, because he does not want to go after marital high quality,be. He still says he is willing to be together with me, he can divorce, he can give a wife face-off slowly. I shook, I must spread out psychology to save oneself. His mother also hopes we are together, endeavor to match us, this is sturdy also my idea, two days of my definitely come down surely finally, our meet again is this kind is partly compliant those who facilitate. The house that I buy did not write him he and I made the name cold war is very fast, we leased a building. Tell the truth, when just meeting at the outset, I look from his dress reach he passes not happily, psychosis is poor, can be described with be frustrated. He is worker of come off sentry duty, the first month that I go to, he him that piece of 669 yuan salary look to me. I do not have a consideration, I should raise him, I am bought to him from underwear briefs, outside and in, everything needed is ready, like dressing up a wandering child, the economy in the home I undertook the whole thing. From at that time, his miserly, his dispute already peep clue, what to buy casually, he can hide at the back of me, not utter a word. Part company to ours 30 years ago he does not have a fault, it is I leave him, I also want to make up for, also did not go in past heart. I do not let him give money one minute, every month I give him pay check, but he is in charge of board expense only, other fund goes by me, the dress, taxi what buy for instance, every month comes down, should balance is not little. Such live in peace with each other passed one year. Leasing a building all the time also is not a method, arrived by 2005, I bought a house with my money. What I write on house property card is his name, since then, he begins grouchy, can a few days of a few night not begin to speak. We make a cold war, from inside his finite speech, I realize he considers administer economy power, everything results from house problem. For make concessions to avoid trouble, ground of my avoid mentioning talked about my view: To money I have a heart knot to cannot be opened, my husband did not enjoy the money that makes to him, just retire half an year leaves the world, because this is this bit righter the saving is more conservative; My daughter has not gotten married; My future still is unknown. He comes to to me finally: "I am bad to say you, I say to be not exported " . Be troubled by so that part on bad terms finally. That paragraph of time, my friend established a company in Shanghai, open a 8000 yuan monthly pay to want me to go to me. I am very hesitant at that time, retired a few years, can be competent still is an unknown. Person of many years old 50, the age is not hopeful already, can nonlocal life suit? This moment, I discover his selfishness, I lie on sickbed because of tracheitis at that time, and he besides show think I go very much besides, the body physical ability that connects me is denied can bear, he did not ask. Considered many days 20, I promise to go at long last, that day afternoon, he is very glad, include li of cut from the bag 10 yuan of money give me, want what I hit to handle affairs. He can be done not have so fervent over- , but the money that how can I want him. Before going to Shanghai, I give him consent, if he goes to Shanghai to accompany me, I can take 20 thousand yuan to be fried to him play, he himself has tens of thousands of yuan are being fried. Last year in May, he comes to Shanghai, dormitory inconvenience lives, I let him seek a room we live together, a few days, he also did not go, he chatters everyday say I had said to want him 20 thousand yuan are fried. I am acceptance passes, total unapt skill hands in money skill to deliver the goods, too common. Summary: 20 old before, I married, the feeling after marriage is very good, the love of that time is far not blundering now. The man is old I am 10 years old, be in charge of absolutely to the family, it is a good man on traditional sense. Be in especially economically, he is paid only to me, do not pursue what is asked for. Get at that time the edification of the sort of traditional culture, I think that ability is true family, he gave me the life that a woman wants. His irritate 45 days, also not begin to speak, I have bit of be bitterly disappointed in those days, he also does not have even the idea that takes care of me, what from morning till night thinks is money. In leave home the place of thousands of kilometer, we made cold war again. Lay between a few days, I give him the airline ticket that try to win sb's favor returns Chongqing, sent him to leave Shanghai. Did not let him be master in one's own house we failed finally to arrive together in August the last ten-day of a month, we are contacted rarely, he now and then come a phone, I want to be illogical really, made a telephone call to him. He says he cannot be become again, cannot make again advocate, it is I said to calculate, he says my mistrust he. I believe, this is his open-armed word. October, I come back from Shanghai, I want to alleviate with him, make an appointment with him actively still to arrive tea building confabulate. I persuade him to miss a point, do not place oneself in very impertinent position above, do two people are awkwardly. I still tell his home to him is not to also have remarry, let him see others how get along. His pussyfoot, he just says his mobile phone is bad, ask I am to buy or repair? His means wants to let me buy. I hope he makes known my position, how does the problem that at present we face do, does our feeling return afterwards add after all? I hope he speaks out bewilderment and dissatisfaction, I still hope he opens my mind. But he is not willing. National Day those a few days he does not agree from beginning to end and I live together, I must go to Shanghai again after the National Day, I hope we were troubled by, I think and he stays night, but he is determined to want to come home. I say his heart is too cold, he has been been opposite with real operation so called feeling says between us " not " , just do not have direct place speaks local word. After he goes, I cry for the first time, cry very sadly. The following day, taking sad I went to Shanghai. This year before the Spring Festival two days, I made a telephone call to him, but he is exceptionally quiet, did not ask me the Spring Festival passes where completely. I know we ended, I cannot enter his heart. After this, we do not have connection again, to this year in June, company disintegrate, I return Chongqing, continue the single life of my person. His economy condition differs me a lot of, think the palm controls the economic power of this digamous home however, this kind of difference lets us choose to part company again only last week 5, gan Chengfang of many years old 50 remarries to what the reporter told about him story: Considerate husband leaves due to illness, make her unusually painful, the help sb to get over his worries in the friend falls after, she undertakes to first love male friend the phone pours out, be in after be informed first love male friend to pass not suitably, two people went one case. But final, because of economy not he of have more than needed thinks the palm controls power of domestic head economy however, and make two people part company once more. After the story that tells oneself, gan Chengfang complexion said gravely below a judgment: Two digamous people, have respective past, children has a family, want space of put apart of the other side and bottom line, and, do not touch a bottom line easily, also do not want experience of do sth without authorization to enter the airspace of the other side, only such, remarry to just have perspective.

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